Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A little respect please

We love ya P.Sqy, but you must find a new way to express your man-love for the god of your douchebag hockey world! Rocco and I have decided that Maf'er reminds us too much of a Nilla wafer. you can't really see that apostrophe. And no Arlow, we are not serving Nilla wafers at the next Douchbag Hockey Player Wannabes Annonymous (D.H.P.W.A.) meeting.

So we came up with M.A.F'er, with the capital letters giving it a more professional flare or even perhaps if you want to get a little funky with it, give it up for the M to the A to the F'er! Well, I think Rocco may have gotten a little too carried away with that one, but are you pickin' up what we're puttin' down. Give him the respect he deserves. All we're sayin' is put a little more effort into it.

Rocco and the Wicked Sister would like you all to remember that October is breast cancer awareness month. I'm sure the NHL will be helping to "Save the TaTa's" I am always impressed by their commitment to helping find the cure.

love Gonchar! Gonna miss him while he's out! We'll be okay til he gets back.

Pens Abroad

Empty Netters has an update on some of the things the guys are up to in Sweden this week. I got a feeling that Talbot's hat is going to take off.

Is Anything Going on with the Penguins

If you wanna know anything about the Atlantic check out faceofffactor they got it going on as usual

emptynetters say the defense is plenty deep.

The Thrashers got Schnieder from the Ducks tsn Scott Niedermayer should be proud of himself.

Last year he wasnt sure he even wanted one more season, now Selanne signs a 2 year deal.

The Penguin forwards can do anything they want.

other than the Penguins defense dropping like flies, there really isnt much to talk about.
the start of the season cant be soon enough.


Your Star is So Ugly

I recently received an email from ESPN about their upcoming NHL preview issue. You have several choices of which cover to go with. It seems fitting that Halloween is right around the corner, because when I opened my email, I was greeted with this:

Jesus. Christ. And to think, they were actually trying to make him look "good". There are amish men who wouldn't let this guy bang their wives he's so ugly. Seriously, crawl back in the block of ice you were thawed from. I always think of "Men in Black" when I see Ovechkin, believing he is a being from some distant world, only trying to fit in by disguising himself as human. I had a moment of despair at the sheer horror of thinking that millions of hockey fans around the world were going to have to get past this ghastly cover to get to the news and info that they desire, until I saw this:

I know you could swap this cover for Seventeen instead of ESPN, but at least he's definitely human.

The State of the Penguins

With key players out of the line up with long term injuries, some would think that the pens will have a rough start to the 08/09 campaign. I, on the other hand, think the exact oppisite. when the Pens started playing their best hockey it was in the face of adversity.

When Maf'er went down nobody could have predicted that the 3rd string goalie would have come in and been so clutch down the stretch.

Everybody thought Malkin was one of the best but, when crosby went down, did anybody really expect that. Malkin and Conks put the team on their shoulders and carried them to the playoffs

What i'm saying is, the depth this team has is nothing short of impressive, especially on the blue line, Although there isnt a better power play quarterback in the league than Gonch, Does anybody really know what Kris Letang can do back there, does anybody really know what Alex Goligoski will be able to accomplish.

Sydor/Gil are there to add the Veteran leadership that everbody says is so important.

When Mark Eaton was healthy last year, how solid was he, one of the best shot blockers in league. Rob Scuderi has been nothing short of solid every since playing with anyone other than Melichar.

so fear not Pens fans and fellow d-bags, when good teams face adversity, they get through it and are that much better when the starters get back.

We may have lost Gonch and Whitney for what seems like the entire season, we still have what it takes to choke slam the eastern conference untill they return.

(Penguin tested/Paul Coffey approved)

When Whitney and Gonch are healthy there will be a tough decision to make regarding the Power play


Monday, September 29, 2008

Well Shit...

This is one of those times that I'm relying on ESPN's sloppy reporting, but it doesn't sound promising. Per the nation, Gonchar will be out 4-6 months following surgery on his dislocated shoulder. [ESPN]

If this is true and the team gets off to a rocky start, don't be surprised to see the Pens be in the market for a quality d-man sooner than they wanted.

Lidstrom celebrates the news of a Norris trophy candidate going down by trying to shove his tongue down Iginla's throat. Zetterberg celebrates with a reach around.

Go Pens

Pens Fan 08

if you are undecided on who you should vote for in november, head over to emptynetter, he will inform you on all the politics you need to know. it sealed the deal for me

Farewell Spectrum

The storied spectrum in Philly is shutting the doors and will be torn down at the end of the phantoms last place finish this season (i'm already predicting that).

Hopefully this will put to rest some bad memories for the pens and the fans, the penguins have the worst record in that building than any other visiting team has in any building

from 1974 to 1988 the penguins accumulated an 0-40-3 record and an 0 for 3 playoff record.

the demolition of the spectrum is rumored to happen because most of philly is crack whores and homeless people and they need a place to gather outside around garbage can fires.

(pictured: one of many thankful philadelphia residents)

you have to respect the city of philadelphia and the dedication they have to the citizens.

so R.I.P spectrum even though you will be gone, you will also be forgotten

R.I.P. "Reg" 1925-2008

We are a Pens site first. A hockey site second. And being a hockey site, we would be remissed if we did not mention the passage of Paul Newman this weekend. A true legend of the silver screen, he had many memorable roles in many great films. However, one of, if not his most iconic role came as Reggie "Reg" Dunlop in "Slap Shot". This was not just the greatest hockey movie of all time, but was one of the top sports movies ever made. If you're a newbie to the sport you owe it to yourself to check it out.

Go Pens.

Steelers Gameday

Wow, do I have a really bad feeling about this one. Since this is a Pens site and I don't feel that the Steelers need any more press then what they already get, I'll just post a couple of pictures to describe my feelings about the possible outcome of tonight's game.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. This could be ugly.

6 Days To Go

The Pittsburgh Penguins Janne Pesonen

By my calculations this will be the first of many goals Pesonen scores for the Pittsburgh Penguins

The trib has a solid read on then Pens injury/loss of free agents, but then he compares them to the steeler superbowl team problems. football/hockey....apples/oranges its a shame we cant even report on the penguins without mentioning the steelers.

i hope all the steelers fans are getting ready to watch the o-line stand there and be fat while big ben tries to dig his face out of the shitty sod at heinz feild.

PPG has a solid read about the Pens in Sweden

We should find out more today about how much time Gonch can expect to miss.

Friday, September 26, 2008

67 years....again.....Pens Win

The Pens wrapped up their preseason tonight on American soil with a 5-4 defeat of the Maple Leafs. Sid played and scored a break away goal. Matt Cooke provided the game winner. I'm sure that P.Sqy is having a cigarette after making love to himself because Janne Pesonen notched his first goal in a Pens uniform. Also providing tallies were Eaton and Letang. Yeah, who needs Whitney and Gonchar? It was rumored that Mats Sundin was soliciting men in the bathroom stalls. More on that later. That's about all you need to know about the Maple Leafs. That, and the fact that they will be in line for another top 5 pick.

the wicked sister revealed

P.sqy took me to my first hockey game about 10 years ago and I was hooked. I love going to hockey games with him. We were entering the arena with some other people and he turns to me and says "don't leave my sight", I say "I am 25 years old" P.sqy " I don't care little people like you get taken in these places all the time".

I do love hockey and Jordan Staal and I plan to give you more of a girl's point of view. I might see some things a little differently than the boys. Rocco and myself are here to keep these silly boys focused on the mission....and the mission is

to make sure the rest of the hockey world doesn't find out their just a bunch of douchebag hockey player wannabes!!! Score for the chics 1-douchebag wannabes 000000!

Any reply Boots.

Kennedy signed

The penguins signed Tyler Kennedy to a two year deal today bottom.

Good signing, i love the way Kennedy plays, the energy he brings to every game is 2nd to none,

although its annoying when steigy calls him "little tiger". regardless you cant win championships without players like kennedy

(kennedy from the grassy knoll)
Wanna listen/watch the Pens VS. Toronto tonight emptynetters will tell you how.
PG is saying Crosby is a go tonight

Rocco The Wicked Wrister Advisor

With the season rapidly aproaching, their are some questions that are on everybodies mind
for instance:

who will play with crosby-will Staal be flanking Geno-will pesonen make it-
With HCMT it could be late february before we see line combos that stick together

Will this blog last the entire season/will anybody see it?
Will Arlow make it big/will Boots ever make a post to the wrister?

we here at wicked wrister dont really know anything so thats why we went out and got
an advisor for all the questions and problems that will come up through out the 08/09 season.

one person knows the answer to all of this.
we just recently got him signed to a one year deal worth all you can eat KFC and and a lifetime of "yo mama" jokes.

he will be here to keep us in check

some news

solid read in the pg about the pens past sports interests.

Its not sounding very good on the Gonchar front.

why did Malkin replace Gonchar. here

(imagine this guy in a pens jersey)

talk about Gaborik is already popping up on all the "pull a rumor out of my ass" sites. i cant wait to see how many times i see "Gabork to pit(e5)"

#1-Pittsburgh Penguins: Ok you can talk all you want about what they lost, but what they kept is so much more important. The Penguins have the two best players in all of hockey, and I am still not certain which of them is the absolute best. The Penguins young defense is only going to improve. I am very concerned about Gonchar's current injury. Last I heard, as of last night, the swelling still hadn't subsided to the point where Gonchar's shoulder could even been examined fully. However, unless he is gone for several months I am still putting the Pens at #1. I think that Satan will easily take the Malone points and perhaps even better them, and keeping Orpik was huge to me and I admit completely surprising. MAF is only going to get better as well. And we could easily see Gaborik here at the deadline.

Say "what" again...

Samuel L. Jackson as a hockey coach. This is worth revisiting. [Comedy.com]

Hell's Bells

Here's a nice article about Satan. No, the other one. [SI.Com]

Ahhh....One Can Dream

I'm calling this right now....the Red Wings are going to suffer a major blow to one of their stars this season. One they will not recover from. I don't have any evidence to base this on, it's just what my "magic eight ball" told me. Followed are the players that will miss time and how it will happen:

Henrik Zetterberg - Ruptured Scrotum - Following an entire preseason of practicing against his own defenders who clutch and grab him at will, he is surprised at the amount of open ice that awaits him when defenders actually play within the rules. The sheer notion of unobstructed play makes him climax so hard during a game that one of his nuts actually explodes out of his coin purse. Said testicle is carried in a bag behind the bench for the rest of the season for emotional support.

Pavel Datsyuk - Arrested - Pavel decides to celebrate his Cup win by finally meeting up with "manmeat69", who he chats with regularly through an online dating service. Upon showing up to his sensual encounter, he is instead greeted by a plate full of cookies....and Chris Hanson. Even though he swore he only showed up to "talk hockey", he could not explain the duffel bag containing benoit balls and an anal taser. He is promptly arrested and sentenced to 2 years house arrest with Wayne Gretzky.

Marian Hossa - Suicide - A quarter of the way through the year and near the bottom of the scoring list, Hossa realizes how overrated he is. He cuts his own head of with a table saw out of despair. No one misses him and the body is not found for 6 months. Players keep his head behind the bench with Zetterberg's nut.

Thursday, September 25, 2008


Nic Lidstrom had to be helped of the ice because of a broken nose PITY.

He was helped off the ice Wednesday night in Detroit during a game against Montreal. Lidstrom took stitches above his right eye and went to Detroit Medical Center for precautionary X-rays.

I can think of another Redwing that i would rather that happen to

The Hockey News picks the Wings to repeat. with the pens finishing 2nd in the east.
there is nothing i want more this season than a re-match with Detroit and watch as hossa skates away in 2nd place again.

My prediction = the wings dont make it through the sharks or the ducks.


Janne Pesonen interview Pez.

67 Years.....Pens win.

There's highlights of last nights 3-2 preseason win over at TSN.

Lemieux is Back!!!

Our prayers have been answered. [Emptynetters]

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Nothing's Easy

Looks like the injury bug is getting the Pens early this year. With Ryan Whitney out already until the turn of the year, the defense was dealt another blow in the team's first preseason game. Per the Pens official site, it has been made official that Sergei Gonchar will be sidelined indefinitely with a dislocated shoulder.

Gonch, your thoughts: "Fuck".

Pens Preview

Ross McJoke has his Pens preview here. Better hurry....the bandwagon is almost full.

Pens VS. Toronto

First off-wanna read some really complicated shit about Malkins contract.

(1967 the last time the leafs won)

The penguins will host the maple jokes tonight at mellon.
one long time maple leaf will not be there and one will be coming back

Mats Sundin who turned out to be the joke of the off season still cant make up his mind where he wants to play. maybe he should just go to Anahiem, they are used to dealing with douche bags who cant make up their minds

On the other hand Goalie Curtis Joseph will be returning to the leafs to add some veteran leadership to young goalie Vesa Toskala.
since Andrew Raycrofts Failure to do anything that resembles an NHL goalie,
this was a good move

(we all remember this from last year)

My prediction=who cares can we get the regular season going already so i can finally watch a game.

on a side note, i was fortunate enough to land Eric Johnson on my fantasy team this season, Good start to what promises to be a good season

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

2nd Round Of Cuts

The second round of cut came today faceoff factor.
some surprising news (or maybe not so surprising) is stone and filewich.

they have to clear waiver to get back to the AHL, this might be the end of the road for
putting on the penguins sweater.

as far as Beech (the next Ron Francis), who didnt see this coming.

30 Teams in 30 Days

Solid Pens preview over at Tsn.

Pens Win

Young defensemen Kris Letang and Alex Goligoski had two points each to lead the Penguins to a 3-2 pre-season victory over the Tampa Bay Lightning Monday night in Tampa. penguins

i cant find a highlights from the game but it sounds like the Koci hit on Gonchar was on all
then penguins minds. alot of ass beating being put down.

Next on the list is a joke called The Maple leafs
lets see if Jeff Finger is worth the contract he got WTF


Monday, September 22, 2008

Pens vs. Lightning Rematch

The Penguins will play their second pre-season game tonight against the Tampa Bay Lightning in Tampa, and they may see some very familiar faces on the opposing team.

Former Penguins Ryan Malone, Mark Recchi, Gary Roberts and Adam Hall all signed with Tampa Bay in the off-season, and this will be the Lightning’s first game on home ice under new ownership following a busy off-season. penguins.com.

a deal could have been done with Bugsy whatever.
water under the bridge if you ask me, a long with hossa, i wish them the best of luck but i am sick of hearing about it. they were penguins, they are not anymore, get over it and move on.
Satan will make you forget about hossa

Nobody is saying anything about Gonchar. unlike a previous penguin enforcer Godard will find you and put the beat down

how many time last season did you want BGL to do this, whether other players were afraid to throw down with him or not, the revenge factor was never there. the meaningless first period fights between heavy weights on each team was getting old. i thought Roberts (when he was healthy) was a better enforcer than BGL was

Pens VS. Lightning

hightlights for the preseason game for the pens.
Gonch left with an injury
Sykora is a scoring machine
godard put the beat down
Melrose is still a d-bag

its the first preseason game. take it for what its worth
it was still better than watching Big Ben get his faced pounded in to the dirt all day..............................GO PENS

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A Waste of 3 Hours of My Life

I did a search for images of the Steelers O-line. Strangely, this is what I got. Truly one of the most pitiful performances I have ever witnessed. Hockey can't get here soon enough.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Wicked Wrister Preview

Us at The wicked Wrister are dedicated to being complete and total idiots.
we have day jobs that suck balls, so we wont be able to inform you
on the latest up to date news, but we took a pledge to dedicate ourselves to bring you the oldest out of date news that nobody really talks/cares about anymore.

If you learn something new here, you are seriously way behind.

we will be introducing a Wicked Wrister mascot shortly but cant yet decide on what/who.

we mainly will talk about the games and old/out of date stuff
as far as game recaps-maybe/maybe not. their are so many out there that can do way better than us.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Sexy Time

First off, I am the only one writing for this site that is a die-hard Steelers fan as well as someone who lives and dies with the Pens. Actually, the other two reportedly straight guys who write for this site could give two shits about football. One actually asked me what "par" meant while discussing the finer points of football in general. Still, I couldn't in good concience avoid posting this picture. Enjoy. And to think....Donovan actually lost that game.

Go Steelers.

Casting Call

We are currently in the market for a mascot. After close deliberation between me and my colleagues, we feel that a hot naked (or half naked) chick would best serve our needs. So if you are between the ages of 18 and 35 and are hot, please feel free to send us a sample picture. You will be doing our blog and your country a great service. Thank you.

Note: We are in no way affiliated with any modeling or talent agency. However, if it helps to persuade you to send your pictures, we will pretend to be.

(Pens top 10 shoot out goals)

(who will ever forget this)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

What the Wicked Wrister means to me...

I'm on the fast track to stardom. I feel it. Even though I have no journalism degree, I know that some day this is going to spring-board me to a higher calling. Even though I can't spell worth a shit and love run-on sentences, I don't find it hard to believe that one day someone will walk into my office at the Post Gazette and say, "Remember when you used to write useless shit for that retarded blog run by two other useless douches? Now you're covering the Pens for one of the major publications in all of Pittsburgh. Funny how shit works out." I may even be with Sid the night he gets his first D.U.I, doing an expose on his personal life. That will be a story for the grandkids. Who knows. The possibilities are endless. Christ, I'm blogging. I can't believe I'm doing this shit. I had a nocturnal emission last night just dreaming of sitting here typing needless shit that probably only two people will read. I'm still going to be famous. So screw you all.

Go Pens. Hossa's a Fag.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


Welcome everyone to the wicked wrister.

we should have 3 people writing for the wrister
but right now one of them is being a douche bag..........