Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Back To Normal

Call me crazy, but things just seem "right" with the world when the Steelers win. The sun shines a little brighter, the birds sing a little louder. Even my erectile dysfunction seems to fade a little. It's truly a wonderful thing. Hopefully this winning keeps up so I have to cover hockey less and less. You see, for me, the Pens are just a "fuck buddy". I only use them when I have to until I can hook back up with old reliable. The Steelers have shit the bed in recent weeks and it truly pains me to write anything derogatory about them so I've used the Pens as an outlet. Unfortunately, they keep winning. A lot. I'm no good writing about hockey unless I'm ripping it apart despite my overall lack of knowledge toward the sport. Hey, that's how I roll. Deal with it. However, due to my new contract with the Wicked Wrister, I will continue to do my previews. I'm not happy about this shit. Here we go.

So the Pens play the Wild tonight. Nice fucking name. Is that an adjective or a noun? Can you use it in a sentence? I'd like to find out if a coked up Santonio Holmes is wild in bed. What a joke. I like to rub one out to a picture of Hines Ward while strangling myself and listening to the call of the wild. See what I mean? No one knows. That's why Minnesota sucks.

As I stated before, the Pens have won a few games in a row. I'm not sure how many so don't ask me. I believe they will respect the Steelers and lose tonight. They've stolen the headlines long enough. Now that the Steelers have won they should step aside and give the black and gold their due. Back to the shadows where you belong.

Out of utter respect for the Steelers, the Pens will lose tonight 7-0.

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