Tuesday, October 28, 2008

It's A Hockey Night, Knuckleheads

Hello there, fellow hockey fans. Bob Smizik here. If you don't know who I am, I cover all things on the Pittsburgh sports front for a large, distinguished Pittsburgh based publication. I sometimes will even cover the Penguins from time to time. Usually when they're playing bad and I need something to write about between Steelers games. Excuse me, I just soiled myself. Just being privileged enough to follow and write about such a legendary franchise like the Pittsburgh Steelers is enough in itself to get me excited, if you know what I mean.

I have been asked by The Wicked Wrister to give you a preview of tonight's tilt against some hockey team from California. The Anaheim Sharks, I think. I'd bother to look it up, but I'm too busy rubbing Vicks vapor rub on my chest while I stare at a picture of Hines Ward. So, we'll just call them the Sharks.

The Seals have been formidable once again in the early going as they seemingly have since they came into the league in 1949. I Googled that. I believe it's right. They have top flight scorers in Bob Thornton and an Indian guy by the name of Choochoo. That name makes me laugh. The phrase "choo-choo" reminds me of watching Jerome Bettis, galloping over opposing defenders in a late December game. Snow swirling, his tight, glistening muscles working to penetrate the gaps.....sorry. I did it again. Let me clean up and we'll get back to the preview.

The Pens come into tonight on the heels of a disappointing loss this past weekend. I'm not sure what happened, but I heard they lost. They can't be doing that. I'm sure the reason that they lost is because they were too focused on fighting everyone. That's all hockey is, you know. Fighting. When the Penguins aren't fighting, they play pretty well. I saw highlights once. That Jagr guy is going to be a beast.

In closing, I give a slight edge to the Pens tonight in Sacremento. The keys to the game are the Penguins ability to not fight and score more goals than the Sharks. Fighting is bad. Only knuckleheads that don't like the Steelers enjoy fighting. Now wrestling, that might not be bad. I think the Steelers should wrestle more. Nothing solidifies team unity like wrestling. Especially if the Steelers would do it in the showers after the game. Yeah, that was too much information. Go Steelers!!!!

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